22 April 2011

Women Are Not the Problem


I use to debate on online forums and would read quite a bit of stuff from opposing points of view so I would be better in a debate.  Because I have almost always been anti-feminist I read a lot of feminist stuff to familiarize myself with the topic.
The problem was that just reading the rantings and ravings of the feminists put a wedge between my husband and I.  When they talked about their bad fathers, boyfriends, husbands, co-workers etc I got to thinking about all the problems I have had with men.  Even though I wasn’t reading with the intent to agree, I did sometimes find myself agreeing and it took its toll on my emotions.
Since I have started reading more things from the “masculinist” perspective I have had a similar problem.  I find myself frequently wondering if my husband (and all men) secretly hate me.

This is one of the complaints I have about the man-o-sphere, particularly the MRM:  these guys seem seriously anti-woman.  And I cannot, for the life of me, understand why.

At the risk of sounding beta, I have to say that I love women.  Yes, it’s fun to hang out with men and do man things, like work on cars, talk politics, throw a football around in the backyard, and other manly activities.  At the end of the day, however, I like spending time with the ladies.  I like talking to girls, I like teasing them, I like gaming them, I like to watch interact with children.  I like listening to women talk about their children and husbands.  I like how women look.  I like how they move.  I like how they smile.  I don’t care if this makes me the most beta man in the world, I like women.

And I just don’t understand all the vitriol that men direct towards women.  Women aren’t inherently immoral (I don’t believe in original sin, so to clarify I will simply say that women are no more or no less inherently immoral than men).  They aren’t evil witches plotting how to destroy men and make their lives miserable.  They don’t sit about, cackling about how they plan to asset-strip their chump of a husband in divorce court.  Most women want their marriages to work.  They want their children to turn out well.

The difference between their desires can be explained by one thing:  feminism.  Feminism is the biggest failure of my grandparents’ generation.  They fed their sons and daughters on the gender equality nonsense while putting and to the social constraints that had bound women’s behavior.  This isn’t the fault of the current generation of women; it’s the fault of their parents.  It’s the fault of feminists.

And if there is any group of people that deserve men’s (and women’s) unadulterated loathing, it’s feminists.  They’re the ones that declared a war neither side really wants.  So now men view women as ticking time bombs and women view men cads and losers.  Thanks, feminists!  I see no reason to hate women, and I suspect that most women see no need to hate men.  But we all have plenty of reason to hate feminists.  Let’s place the blame where it belongs.

22 comments:

  1. Tried to email rather than threadjack, but the email bounced back. We're simpatico on this issue. Here are two posts from the vaults that I've written on the subject:

    http://hiddenleaves.wordpress.com/2010/04/13/i-live-as-a-hermit-in-my-man-cave-and-have-sex-with-this-bagel/

    http://hiddenleaves.wordpress.com/2010/06/29/returning-to-the-man-cave-with-a-package-of-bagels-and-a-tub-of-butter/

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  3. @Ulysses- good stuff. The content of those posts would pretty much sum up why I would never be a MRA: I'm just not interested in sausage parties. I gotta have me some ladies.

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  4. @Ulysses- Also, I checked the email address I posted on my "About" page. It turns out I mistyped it. It's now corrected, so hopefully future attempts at contacting me will be successful.

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  5. I was so happy to run across this article. I love men and after reading parts of the manosphere I was beginning to think I didn't know/understand men at all. I really needed to see this. Thanks.

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  6. @Monica- I have long suspected that neither side wants to be part of a gender war. Unfortunately, envious women and foolish men (aka feminists) have taken it upon themselves to destroy the relationship between men and women, and so everyone suffers as a consequence.

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  7. Hi Simon - I'm with you, I don't think a majority of people want a gender war either. Personally, I don't see how it helps. I see a gender war as a cop out from figuring out how to deal with the issues. I want to add that I've learned a lot about injustices men currently suffer that I had never known of or ever taken the time to consider before and I've learned a lot about myself as well. So, although I find a lot of over generalizations and vitriol towards women in the manosphere - I've also found some good info re: myself and real issues our society needs to address. It's not all bad.

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  8. It's madness to assume anyone wants war, particularly war between the sexes. The thing is, women are the ones who have every legal, and thus it is assumed, every moral weapon in the arsenal. It's easy to lay claim to peace at all costs when your opponent has not the where-with-all to counter your ability to be an aggressor.

    Women want peace, but only at the cost of subjugating men to their terms. Men want peace, but not at such a cost. For five decades, it has been shown time and again that there is no middle ground; the only possible way towards cessation of hostilities is by victory. It's only now that men are even taking up arms in protest of being maligned as the stupid, violent, and heartless beasts women posit them as being.

    It isn't a happy scenario...but, as has been said before: War Is Hell.

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  9. Cureipoint:

    Women by and large want happiness, pure and simple...but the wisdom of how to get it has been lost so they grasp at straws to see what will do the trick.

    They try many different things...slutting around, careerism, marriage, kids, divorce, travel, new age religions, etc because what actually makes them happy is so counter-cultural that they don't recognize it.

    Women and men are mostly a confused herd sheep trying every which way but the right way. This is why sheep need a shepherd.

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  10. @Monica- I appreciate the educational role the MRM has played. Indeed, they opened my eyes to the abuses that men have suffered at the hands of the legal system.

    However, their general hatred of women is unmerited. Feminists deserve hatred for creating the current legal climate, and the only woman that deserves their hatred would be the woman that put them through the legal system. Non-feminist women that didn't do anything to harm any given man should not be hated or lumped in with the other groups of women.

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  11. "Women want peace, but only at the cost of subjugating men to their terms. Men want peace, but not at such a cost. For five decades, it has been shown time and again that there is no middle ground; the only possible way towards cessation of hostilities is by victory. It's only now that men are even taking up arms in protest of being maligned as the stupid, violent, and heartless beasts women posit them as being."

    @Curiepoint- It looks like you're conflating "women" with "feminists." If Roissy is to be believed, women would be quite happy to live in submission to men. My own experience bears this out, as the vast majority of women I know are quite content to live in submission to their husband. Of course, I live in a mid-size Midwestern town that has a rather strong religious presence, so my experience my not be representative of the whole. Thus, your first assertion would only apply to feminists. Additionally, it is feminists, not women in general, that posit men to be "heartless beasts."

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  12. "the wisdom of how to get it has been lost so they grasp at straws to see what will do the trick."

    @paige- I would argue that wisdom has been replaced, not lost. The "slut-shaming" of yesteryear has been replaced with the shaming of normalcy, to the point where even women who want nothing more than to be a wife and mother are mocked and berated for betraying their gender. There will always be cultural mores, so the question that remains for every generation is: what will those mores be? Unfortunately, the feminist moral code has replaced the traditional moral code, much to the misery of all.

    Also, thanks for stopping by and taking time to comment on the blog.

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  13. Simon - I agree with you wholeheartedly. To blame a whole gender for the sins of a minority is illogical and has been disturbing to witness.

    Since a good part of the abuse is occurring in our legal system (I prefer that over Justice System) then it seems like that is where we need the change to occur. I'm not sure what that would entail though - maybe pushing for more "fault" divorces? I don't know all of the implications in that move - I'm just throwing ideas out there.

    Also, there's a law firm where I live that specializes in representing husbands/fathers in divorce cases so hopefully they and others like them will influence the debate so that we can get to more equitable divorce outcomes.

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  14. SG,

    One, women bought in to feminism, and they continued buying into it. It was women who started the War of the Sexes! Now that men are finally waking up; now that men are showing signs of fighting back; women want peace?!

    Two, I've worked with a lot of women over the years, and brother, it was a EYE OPENER! I got to hear what women REALLY think of men when they weren't trying to charm or manipulate us men. To say that they hold us in contempt would be a gross understatement. They spend hours talking about men, and they do so with hatred, scorn, derision, and contempt. As a man, I know I'm not perfect, but I'm not that bad a guy-not as bad as women think we are.

    Oh, and if you think women aren't the problem, riddle me this: why did women all over America laud Lorena Bobbitt for her dastardly deed? Why did women all over America laugh and cheer when she sliced her husbands penis off? Why didn't good women cry out against their sisters who did? My friend, those deeds speak volumes about what women really, truly think of men; they speak volumes as to what women are.

    MarkyMark

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  15. @ Monica- I've posted on a theoretical alternative to the legal system, if you're interested in reading it.

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  16. @MarkyMark- First, men all over America have bought into feminism. Second, "women all over America" does not equate to "all women." If it did, we would easily conclude that not only are women the problem, but men are as well.

    As it stands, the most correct assertion to make is that there are women who have bought into feminism and there are men who have bought into feminism. Furthermore, there are men who have not bought into feminism and there are women who have not bought into feminism. If feminism is indeed the problem, then two conclusions can be drawn. First, some members of both genders bear blame for the current situation. Second, some of the members of both genders do not bear any of the blame. From these two conclusions we can draw a third conclusion: gender is the wrong metric for determining blame.

    Finally, the silence of women in regards to Lorena Bobbitt's misdeeds proves nothing. Traditionally-minded women view social/public leadership as the Man's job. Their silence is entirely in keeping with that belief. If they spoke up, they would effectively be usurping the Man's role, and would thus be properly considered feminists. Essentially, the only women who would have publicly discussed (either in defense or in condemnation of Ms. Bobbitt) would have been, by definition, feminists.

    Also, your claim of working with women and listening to them complain suffers from self-selection bias.

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  17. SG,

    Whether or not a woman calls herself a feminist is irrelevant, particularly if she was college educated. These days, any college educated woman under the age of 45 or 50 is a DE FACTO feminist, regardless of whether or not she calls herself one.

    MarkyMark

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  18. @MarkyMark- My argument was not based on women's self-description. As such, your first assertion is irrelevant. Also, your second assertion is incorrect, since I have met multiple college-educated women under the age of 45 who do not behave like feminists, nor do they agree with feminist philosophy.

    If you wish to continue debating in this forum you will need to stick to the terms of debate and provide evidence for your assertions.

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  19. @Simon Grey: Have you looked at the comments from your you-tube video? 99% of men strongly disagree with that ridiculous video, so if that's your best evidence that "men all over America have bought into feminism" then you need to look for some better evidence. I don't disagree that some men (politicians mainly) have bought into feminism but it certainly is not the majority of the 2 genders...I would say not even close. Do you really think the majority of men are happy to get taken to the cleaners during a divorce? Therefore the gender which bears most of the responsibility for feminism and the inevitable decline in our society is indeed women. Until we see more women (right now there are precious few) stand up for us men and speak out against the inequality that men are subjected to, then women will, and should, continue to bear most of the responsibility for feminism and its results. Feminism is indeed the main culprit here, and women are right behind it in second place, with a minority of men lagging in a distant third place.

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  20. @Anonymous- this is starting to become tedious. The point of linking to the video was to demonstrate that there were men all over America who had bought into feminism. I did not assert that all, most, a majority, or even many men had bought into feminism. MarkyMark's problem was that he introduced a false equivalency, which I then rebutted, hence the reason for linking to the video.

    "Therefore the gender which bears most of the responsibility for feminism and the inevitable decline in our society is indeed women."

    Seeing as how women were historically disenfranchised from the political process in America, could you please explain how women were able to hijack the political process for their own ends without the implicit approval of the majority of men. (Hint: you can't.) Women may have demanded political power, under the guise of equality, but it is men who gave them that power. Your mistake is that you focus on the visible effects of women's action and largely ignore the effects of men's inaction.

    "Until we see more women (right now there are precious few) stand up for us men and speak out against the inequality that men are subjected to..."

    Res ipsa loquitur.

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  22. @Anonymous- you need to take your illogic, false equivalences, poor reading comprehension, and counterfactual assertions elsewhere.

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