07 July 2011


Dalrock had an interesting post on divorce and happiness and came to this conclusion:

The irony here is that the safety valve which feminists and others fought so hard for to avoid women being trapped in unhappy marriages has made women both less happily married and more likely to be unhappily divorced.

Maybe I’m naïve about this, but I’d be willing to bet that most people are as happy in their marriages lives as they choose to be, which is seen in how divorcees are not happier after they end their marriages.  The problem is that they think their happiness is dependent on their situation, not their mindset.

Again, it’s possible that I’m being incredibly naïve, but I believe that one is only as happy as one decides to be.  Instead of focusing primarily or exclusively on the problems in one’s life, one could focus on the good things and be happy with what one has.  In the words of the apostle Paul:
I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.


  1. To a certain degree that is correct, yes. Discontent people tend to divorce more often than contented types, and that discontent continues after the divorce, of course, because it has different roots. However, some divorces come about because of specific situations that *create* a lot of discord and discontent in and of themselves -- in these cases, divorced people can actually be significantly more contented than they were in the marriage, or they can be discontent and bitter about what happened in the marriage, but in either case the source of what is happening is quite different.

  2. @Knightblaster- this was intended to be more of a general observation. I've noted that Dalrock has shown over and over how the idea that divorce makes life better for women is more often than not pure fantasy. As such, it seems reasonable to conclude that, for most women, happiness is a state of mind and not a state of being. I was not trying to suggest that circumstances are irrelevant.

  3. Maybe I’m naïve about this...

    Sounds more Buddhist than naïve to me.