09 July 2011

Spontaneity

One of the things I realized recently is that being spontaneous, if done properly, is a very powerful tool of Game.  I believe this is because spontaneity is an incredible display of higher value.  One must be able to think several steps down the road, and do so very quickly.  One must also be able to see opportunities that most would likely overlook.  Also, one must have fairly decent leadership skills.  Being spontaneous, therefore, indicates that one is not only a leader, but one who is different from all other men, and is not beholden to their way of thinking.  Plus, spontaneity is exciting, and excitement is basically catnip for women.

Unfortunately, being spontaneous does not come naturally to most men, and so it is necessary to develop the skills and mindset of being spontaneous in order for it to become second nature.  To this end, there are a couple of things a man should be able to do in order to be (or, more accurately in this case, appear) spontaneous.

The spontaneous man is, seemingly counter-intuitively, a planner.  But he is able to plan on the fly.  Know how to get to where you want to go, how to get back, and how to adjust the schedule accordingly.  There are a lot of variables to juggle when it comes to altering plans, but being able to do so has great rewards.

The spontaneous man must also have good observational skills, and to be on the lookout for things that seem interesting.  Niche shops, locally-owned restaurants, and kitschy tourist traps are things to look for.   Know when they are open and what they specialize in.  Going to some place that’s out of the way is a major plus because it shows initiative, knowledge, and foresight.  Plus, new experiences are always exciting.  Being the one who introduces a girl to new experiences is good because it enables her to tell stories to her friends about how awesome a guy you are, which is a huge ego boost for her.  Women want to be with the exciting guy that all the other women desire, and being someone who seeks out new experiences enables you to be that guy.

Finally, the spontaneous man must be confident, and almost irrationally so.  Act like you know what you’re doing, even if you don’t.  You cannot seem unsure about your deviation from routine, elsewise you risk making your attempt at spontaneity appear to be a dumb idea.  Simply take the mindset that your little side trip is going to be great fun, and only an idiot would want to miss out on such awesome memories.  There will be times when your attempts at spontaneity go sour.  When that happens, try to spin as some sort of hilariously ironic experience.

On a side note, being spontaneous can also be as simple as doing something fairly common in an unpredictable manner.  I once took a girl to Steak N’ Shake to get milkshakes.  She had basically nagged me about going, yet I never took her.  Then one night when she needed a ride home I took her to get a shake instead.  Once she realized we were not headed directly home she began to ask where we were going.  Instead of telling her, I simply smiled and told her to enjoy the music and not ask so many questions.  Even though I had planned to take her to Steak N’ Shake all along, my refusal to tell her made my actions seem more spontaneous because she did not know they were planned.  She had wanted to do this, but my to share my plans ended up making my actions seem like a wonderful surprise instead of capitulation.

* Note that this guide is better suited for single men, or married people who do not have children.  I imagine Athol Kay could better address spontaneity for those who are married with kids.

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