14 December 2011

Gaming Your Mom

Heeeeeere’s Roissy:

As this reader’s story demonstrates, not only is game effective on all types of women beyond the mythological bar slut, game is effective on family members! If you include sales and management (business or social circle) as a form of game, then you could argue that game is effective on men as well.

When I first learned of Game during the halcyon days of Freshman year, I spent most of my time applying the new truths I had learned on single unmarried ladies legal females.  It did not occur to me, for some time, to run a modified version of this on my female relatives.  But once I began to do just that, my relationships with all the women in my family began to improve.  Obviously, I had to tone down or eliminate some elements of Game, like innuendo, but I applied some of the principles I had learned, and they worked rather well for me.

As such, I propose emphasizing these four aspects of Game when dealing with female family members:

Arrogance.  Think the world of yourself and your abilities, especially if you’re young.  They will rationalize this away by saying it’s the optimism or naiveté of youth.  Really, it’s just you being a jackass.  But as long as you’re supremely confident, and unshakably so, they will have no choice but to yield to your frame. And if they think the world of you…

Aloofness.  It’s inevitable that you will spend a lot of time around the female members of your family, particularly sisters and mothers, if for no other reason than the simple fact that your DNA is more similar to theirs than most other people’s.  And there will be times when that level of familiarity breeds contempt, leading to a tempest of emotional outburst.  When that happens, the best thing to do is say nothing and, if possible, leave.  Sometimes women just need a good cry, and it’s best to leave them to it.  Also, there’s no need to subject yourself to their emptions.  Just leave them alone.

And then sometimes women occasionally act silly, as if the fact that you’re their son (or nephew, or grandson, or younger brother, etc.) is somehow proof that you are their personal servant, sent from God to cater to their every whim.  You are not.  When they get it in their heads that you are, the best thing to do is ignore them because yelling at family members, particularly those of the female variety, and especially the elder ones, is generally frowned upon, the more subtle, and thus more effective approach is to ignore them and continue on with your business.

Frame.  Being related to someone is, by default, a long-term relationship.  This sort of thing generally requires some type of beta (read: comfort-building) behaviors.  It is not only allowed, but expected that you will, from time to time do something nice for the female relatives in your life.  The key to this is doing those nice things in such a way that they view it as you doing them a favor, and not as you owing them some sort of behavior.  If you are logical, you know that intentions are irrelevant to outcome, so motivation shouldn’t matter.  But remember that we are dealing with women here, so motivation does, in fact, matter.  Therefore, it is imperative that you always present your obligations as favors, and demand some display of gratitude in return.

Humor.  Being funny/humorous/witty can defuse a lot of tension in a very short period of time.  And as anyone who has ever attended a family gathering knows, women are quite capable of starting drama that builds up a ton of tension.

I remember quite clearly back around Easter when my mom’s side of the family came over and my cousin discovered that I had a .22 rifle, which he immediately wanted to go out and shoot.  His mother was not exactly supportive of this, seeing as how he was ten and she had a fear of guns.  This caused plenty of drama, which was summarily dispatched by a rather witty one-liner from this blog’s esteemed writer, which in turn led to my cousin being allowed to go outside to shoot.*  The moral of this story is that humor can solve a lot of problems where a large gathering of drama-inclined women are concerned because it simply shows that no one is taking them seriously, and so they should relax and have fun.

At any rate, this four-step plan should provide a decent foundation for dealing with female relatives.  They are just like all other women, except that you don’t want to sleep with them.  Unless you’re from Alabama (and even then, we’re only talking cousins).  Adjust your Game accordingly.

* Another thing about that day.  My aunt who hated guns eventually ended up coming outside to watch my brothers, cousins, and me shoot.  And then she decided to fire a couple rounds herself, and eventually my grandma and my other aunt joined in, as did my female cousins.  When all was said and done, my aunt who hated guns said that shooting a .22 rifle was “really fun.”  The moral of this story is that if you stick to frame, the women will eventually come around.

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