03 January 2012

For Alpha Eyes Only

This rather hilarious article on breakup etiquette is most certainly not intended for betas:

Breakups are horrible. There’s no other way to put it. But keep in mind that what happens in the moments before, during and after you deliver those three little words (“this isn’t working”) will forever determine how you’re remembered by the person left behind. Will you be that great guy she remembers wistfully… or the jerk she can’t believe she ever dated?

As many writers on Game have noted, the dating advice given to men by women is generally worthless because the implicit assumption made by women giving advice is that the man receiving the advice is alpha.  The tell-tale sign of this assumption is seen in the last sentence of this excerpt.  Note the dichotomy:  in either event, the woman will most certainly remember the man who dumped her.

The prior observation is important because, as Roissy has pointed out, alphas are memorable and betas are forgettable.*  If the woman in question remembers you at all, then you can rest assured that you have done something right.

The point to take away from this is that if you’re a man and you see you advice articles like this, look for the telltale sign that this advice is intended for alphas.  If there is any indication that the female author in question is assuming that the man toward whom the advice is directed is alpha, ignore it.  The reason for this is simple:  If you’re alpha, the advice is irrelevant; if you’re beta, the advice is counterproductive (at best).

* Incidentally, this very point is made in cringingly comedic terms on the TV show The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret (season 1 episode 2, NSFW).  The crassness of this show aside, the whole series provides a very powerful insight into the nature of relationship dynamics, particularly the revulsion women tend to feel towards betas.  (And since we’re on the subject of shows with Arrested Development alums, consider also George Michael’s breakup with Ann Veal in “Sad Sack.”  If a girl ever initiates a break up with you, don’t be like George Michael and cry right in front of her.)

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