22 February 2012

Guaranteed Failure

I agree with everything in this post, except for this:

In short, men will man up when women woman up. Because women, as the gatekeepers of sex, get the men they deserve. And, more often than not, what they deserve is what they want.

This paragraph seems highly ironic coming from a man whose blog continually makes and reinforces the point that men need to take the lead if they want to be successful with women.  The constant advice for initiating, demonstrating confidence, keeping frame, and passing fitness tests can all be boiled down thusly:  you’re the leader in the relationship; act like it.

That men are most successful with women when they take the lead is certainly true on a micro level.  It stands to extrapolation, if not reason, that men will most successful with women on a macro level if men take the lead.  And thus, the call for women to take the lead and “woman” up is somewhat misguided.*

Think about it.  The fundamental problem is that men accepted and complied with women’s frame.  How then can one think that the problem will be solved by men accepting and complying with women’s frame?  The problem is not the specifics of the frame, it is the compliance.  If this mess is going to be solved, it will only be solved by men taking the lead.

Now, to be sure, part of men’s leadership should be telling and expecting women to act like women, which is to say that women should be expected to be submissive, supportive, feminine, and pretty (among other things).  But ultimately, women will only “woman up” if men make this the frame with which women comply.  And this means that men will have to man up and take the lead.  If they don’t, then all the calls for women to “woman up” will inevitably end in failure.

* The taking the lead part, not the “woman up” part.

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