25 February 2012

No Kidding

In what will undoubtedly be a shock to a lot of people, thinner wives make for happier marriages:
Marriages are happier when wives are thinner than their husbands, according to a new study. Researchers at the University of Tennessee studied the BMI (body mass index, a common measure of obesity) of nearly 170 newlywed couples, along with their marital satisfaction over time.
Andrea Meltzer, the lead author and a doctoral candidate at UT, told Discovery News that "We found this effect initially on husbands' satisfaction at the beginning of marriage... husbands were more satisfied at the time of marriage to the extent that their wives had a lower BMI than themselves."
The fact that men tend to be happier with a thinner wife may not be surprising, but Meltzer and her colleagues also found that women who had a lower BMI than their husbands were significantly more satisfied with their marriage over time. Thinner wives make both spouses happier.
Obviously, men are going to be happy coming to home to an attractive wife.  And wives are going to be happy if they’re attractive, mostly because it means that they’re married to an alpha.

Now, it is axiomatic that happy marriages are the most likely to succeed.  Also, it is axiomatic that marriage is the bedrock of society. Therefore, attractive women are good for society.

So, ladies, that means it’s time for you to get in shape.  While you’re at it, feel free to wear makeup, wear feminine clothes, and grow out your hair.  The health of our society depends on it.