22 February 2012

What Can Women Do To Help Men Take the Lead?

I had originally asked Olive to help me out with this, but it seems now that it’s more appropriate to just go ahead and say what needs to be said.  But first, an observation from Olive:

What I've found, interestingly, is that as I become more feminine and less obnoxious (don't argue, don't nag, just let my BF do his own thing and make his own decisions), he becomes more "alpha"...which is actually not how he's been throughout most of our relationship (something my brother was pointing out to me tonight, but with different words). The change is gradual, but it's there.

In a prior post, I had made the argument that men will have to take the lead and, to use a phrase, “man up” if the problems caused by feminism are going to be fixed.  Now, I suppose that there are some who are wondering what women can do to help this process along.  I have another post planned that deals with specific behaviors, but for now I just want to make a couple of general points.

First, women should avoid taking the lead.  This seems obvious, but I’m actually referring to something a little more subtle.  Specifically, women should never tell, command, or even ask men to take the lead.  The reason for this seems obvious to me, but nonetheless I will spell it out just to make sure we’re all on the same page.  Telling someone to take the lead can never, by definition, be obeyed because attempted compliance to the command is an implicit acceptance of someone else’s authority.

Second, women must generally refuse to take the lead.  This doesn’t mean they can never give advice or counsel, only that they can’t make the final decision.  Always let the responsibility for the final decision remain with your husband or boyfriend.

Third, stop fitness testing as much as possible.  I know this is difficult, as it is in women’s natures to do this in order to test a man’s fitness.  But doing this can undermine his confidence and his leadership, and he may then decide that he doesn’t to take the lead anymore, thus finding porn and video games to an acceptable diversion from women.

Fourth, be supportive.  When he makes a decision, back it 100%, even if you think it’s wrong (and remember, it’s not like you’re right all the time either).  He may end up being right; he may end up being wrong.  Either way, the important thing is that you support him.

Finally, be a woman.  Heartiste has an excellent post on this, and I recommend starting there.  Proverbs 31 and Titus 2:3-5 also provide some really good pointers as well.  Understand that the process of getting men to become the leaders they need to be is not going to happen overnight, and will likely be an unsure, somewhat painful promise.  But if women are acting as the submissive, supportive, feminine women they ought to be, it will make the process much easier.

In closing, let me note that it is entirely possible that men will refuse to take the lead (see here for proof).  If men still refuse to take the lead, even after women do what they can to make taking the lead as easy as possible, then all the calls for women to “woman up” are for naught.  And, ultimately, those who have called for women to “woman up” will be revealed as nothing more than the weak, spineless betas they really and truly were.  And they will have no right or reason to complain.

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