06 December 2012

Why Do Most Men Hate Hypergamy?

In a recent post, Matt Forney Admiral Boom asks why men hate hypergamy. Hilariously, most of the reasons he gives why men hate hypergamy are actually why beta males hate feminism, leading to a rather interesting case of double term conflation. He appears to recognize this at the end of his post, stating, “in the end, it ain’t so much about the hypergamy: it’s about the soft bigotry of hypocritical expectations.” Of course it’s not about hypergamy. Hypergamy existed long before the American feminist movement ever did, yet plenty of societies managed to find a way to deal with it (interestingly, it was usually combo of patriarchal social organization and marrying young, but that’s a post for another day).

Anyhow, Forney’s post is enlightening because it does ask a rather telling question: why do men hate hypergamy? I suspect that most men hate hypergamy for the same reason that most women hate koreogamy:* Because that makes them losers in the sexual market place.

For rather obvious tautological reasons, most men aren’t going to be the upper echelon of desirable males. This means that they won’t be banging marrying the most desirable females. And so, like the embittered feminists that complain about how men are nasty brutes who are constantly suppressing women (talk about Freudian slips), loser males complain about how it’s the nasty wimminz that are going about destroying the world with their vaginas, and if we only stripped them of liberty and never allowed them out of the house in non-pregnant states of being, then all would be right with the world.

To put it simply, most men hate hypergamy because it makes them sexual losers, to varying degrees. Female hypergamy forces men to confront the realities of their sexual value. And, like feminists, male losers would rather bitch about the system than try to either increase their value or make peace with their value. Quite simply, most men want what they cannot have. And so they hate those things which remind them of that reality.

* See here, here, and here.


  1. both hypergamy and koreogamy (great word) are intrinsic and natural, and were mitigated in the past via the ways you mention

    when i was in my teens and twenties, women were not interested . . . i was unsure, unaccomplished, not yet fully myself, and women correctly sensed and evaluated that

    not an insult towards me, not personal, just reality

    instead of complaining about hypergamy or women, i rassled w the world, and as i aged the females came around (yeeikes!)

    by bio-evolution, females are supposed to desire men who are accomplished (in various ways) just as males are attracted to youth and beauty (=fertility)

    what's changed, and why i have empathy with young men, is koreogamy is now a crime, while hypergamy is extolled and funded by the culture and govt

    normally i'd tell these young guys who are complaining about betafication they need to shut up and pay dues, wait til their late thirties and forties, when the girls will be chasing YOU

    but in a feminist culture, theres nowhere for young or older men to "go" -- the only recourse is marry a young virgin, before she jumps the carousel, the traditional solution . . . but that is also almost impossible in western cultures

    women collectively, in collusion with govt and churches, have closed off the male options, while normalizing and facilitating their own

    it's a mass betrayal, wont end tidily

  2. Robert in Arabia06 December, 2012 15:48

    The western expats here who are not homsexuals and who have converted to Islam have obtain young wives and on average have four children.

  3. Not me, I lurrrrrrv me some hypergamy.

    I've been burned by it a couple times, but for every time I've been burned, I've reaped 10x the benefits.

    Roosh calls it "performing a robbery," and you can draw your own conclusions about it.

  4. sure revo, i can screw almost anyone i want too. . . so what?

    sexual libertinism doesnt produce "benefits" but instead retards and destroys character

    the approach of you and roosh and rossy is solipsistic and petty-predatory, dragging everyone down with you further into our infantilized dystopia

    gamers seem to imagine this an "accomplishment" -- illustrating just how degraded the overarching culture already is

  5. I appreciate the link, but Admiral Boom wrote that article, not me.

  6. From the article:

    "Men are being sold a bullshit bill of goods in order to maintain the superficial edifice of society, while at the same time women get to indiscriminately fuck the absolute dregs of the barrel at will (but the bass player with all the tattoos and noserings was sooo SEXY and EXCITING), but still expect to, and often do, get the cash and prizes at the end of the rainbow."

    The point is is that it is NOT "hatred" of hypergamy, its women pretending hypergamy should be enforced at the point of a gun while denying that it exists. Men go to jail to fund hypergamy so yeah...let's say it's "disconcerting"...

  7. Hypergamy is half the breaking of the free love revolution. That revolution came with one promise, free love for all, which is implicitly two promises, free love for women and free love for men. The former has held, the latter has been broken. What men didn't realize was that free love wouldn't mean a piece for everyone, it would mean a piece for every woman, and a giant heaping mountain for the 1% of men who won the genetic lottery.

    Now, perversely, love is less attainable than ever for the average guy. Before "free love", societal norms put a limit on the sizes of harems, so that most guys could expect to be able to bag a semi-decent wife before their thirties. Now, the 99% of young men are effectively untouchable.

  8. @Robert- I wonder if hypergamy exists over there?

    @Matt- fixed.

    @Anon. 1- the title of the cited post is "Why Does Hypergamy Piss Us Off?" I'm not the one who made this assertion, I'm quoting it. Now, I've read the post in question and, as I noted at the start of this blog post, noted that even the author of the linked article admitted that it wasn't hypergamy per se that pissed him off but feminism. Nonetheless, hypergamy does tend to piss a lot of men off, as evidenced by the plethora of MRA-fueled blogs that constantly talk about trying to rein in women's hypergamous instincts. Obviously, some men are pissed off at hypergamy. They should be pissed at feminism, and realize that sexual desire is what it is (which is, funnily enough, the exact same argument men use when defending their interest in young, attractive women). Doesn't mean you always have to act on it; doesn't mean you're a slave to it. It just means it exists. Complaining about women chasing alphas is akin to women complaining about men chasing young hotties. it's teh way of the world, get over it.

    @Anon. 2- As I've said before elsewhere on this esteemed blog, most men are not quality husband material. (And, just so you don't go getting your panties in a knot, most women are not quality wife material either.) A human-shaped ATM does not a good husband make. Thus, the underlying reality is that most young men have always been untouchable. The only difference between now and fifty years ago is that we bothered to lie to ourselves.

    1. hypergamy is very much intrenched in Islam, kuff or ka'fa'a, i.e. a husband must be able to provide a wife with living standards equal to, or better than, what she was accustomed to in her father's home. of course, you are neglecting to mention polygamy, which is the ultimate complement of hypergamy - women can marry up, but men can marry more. it has been said by (muslim) men who are actively seeking to practice polygamy, that they "struggle to find women THAT THEY ARE HAPPY WITH, that are happy with polygamy", i.e. there is a trade-off: the women who are more open to polygamy are those who have more to gain in terms of hypergamy.