23 January 2013

A Cautionary Tale

A woman by the name of Karen Cross writes at The Daily Mail of the potential consequences of holding out for a better man:

Now I can only look back and admonish my selfish, younger self. When I visit friends and family back in our home town, I can't help but hope I'll bump into  Matthew.
I'd like to think I'd say sorry. That I will always be there for him. But I wouldn't be surprised if he turned his back on me and kept walking.
To those out there thinking of walking away from humdrum relationships, I would say don't mistake contentment for unhappiness, as I did. It could be a choice you'll regret for the rest of your life.

Of course, Karen did go on to pursue relationships with a couple of other guys, so while she’s not a D.C.-Lawyer-Chick-Level of slut, she’s not exactly pure as the wind-driven snow.  But notice what the consequences of her alpha-chasing is:  she isn’t able to marry a good guy.  That’s it.

She isn’t starving, she isn’t about to get kicked out to the street, she isn’t facing social or familial ostracism, she isn’t (from what I can gather)generally  lacking in sexual satisfaction.  All things considered, she’s in pretty good shape.  One hundred years ago, she would have been strongly pressured into marrying the guy she now misses, and she would have been largely dependent on him to take care of her basic physical needs.  These days, the only thing she really misses about him is his emotional support.  This is pretty much the only negative consequence of her alpha chasing.

I don’t mean to imply that this consequence isn’t painful, nor do I want to suggest that women shouldn’t consider the long-term consequences of chasing alphas.  However, when the most painful consequence of alpha chasing is that you feel a peculiar form of loneliness in your old age, then I think it’s safe to say that things aren’t as bad as they could be.  Thus, my earlier assertion that women can ride the carousel without much in the way of impunity would appear to be generally correct.