23 September 2013

A Nation of Pussies

Pardon their French? Coca-Cola recently issued an apology to a family after one member purchased a Vitaminwater with a bottle cap bearing an offensive message.
Blake Loates of Edmonton in Alberta, Canada told Metro Calgary she was shocked when she opened her beverage and read the words "YOU RETARD," written inside of the cap. The language was particularly painful to her and her family as one of Loates' younger sisters, Fiona, 11, has cerebral palsy and autism.
The cap inspired Loates' father, who lives in Tacoma, Wash., to issue a lengthy letter of complaint to Vitaminwater's parent company Coca-Cola.
"What would you do if you opened up your bottle of Vitamin Water and on the bottom of the lid it read, "YOU RETARD"?" Doug Loates wrote in his letter swearing off the beverage company for life. "Think about it. I bet you'd be pissed off if you had a Fiona in your life… Can you imagine if SHE had opened this bottle?"

I know that it is very profitable to be in a state of perpetual offense; lots of lawsuits are just waiting to be won by the right sort of offense-taker.  That said, it is truly sad and disgusting to see how some people allow themselves to be upset by what amounts to trivial bullshit.

First of all, who reads bottle caps?  That’s just stupid, unless one is trying to win a contest, and even then that’s kind of sad.

Second of all, how is anyone willing to let themselves be offended by any sort of message on an inanimate object that is not necessarily intended to be viewed by them, and therefore cannot be assumed to have malicious intent?  And does one really want one’s emotional state determined by things like that?

At any rate, I think it’s clear that Canada deserves all the mockery it receives for being basically a nation of wimps, because clearly no one in that shithole is strong enough to withstand the withering hatred spewed forth by those diabolical bottle caps.  Seriously, what a nation of pussies.