08 January 2016

No One Cares About Your Problems

Once you as a male reach a certain age in life—usually about 22-24—people stop caring about your problems.  I don’t mean that people completely cease to have any form of sympathy for you, nor do I even mean that no one will ever listen to your complaints.  Rather, I mean that other people simply aren’t going to put much effort, if any, into solving your problems.

As such, once you reach that certain age, there is remarkably little point in complaining.  Few people will bother to offer to help you alleviate the problem about which you’re complaining, and whatever assistance is offered will be marginal at best.

Thus, the best thing to do when you encounter problems in life is to refrain from complaining and instead set about solving the problem at hand.  Complaining is a terrible option simply because it will not lead to a practical solution.  You might receive pity from some and half-hearted offers of assistance from a few, but for the most part those who hear your complaints will simply ignore you or think less of you as a man.  Worse, your problem will still remain.

Because no one cares about your problems, there are really only two practical responses to any problem you face in life.  You can either address the problem directly yourself, or you can ignore it.
Addressing the problem requires a high degree of aggression and tenacity.  Some problems are time-consuming or expensive to deal with, and generally unpleasant.  It also requires taking responsibility for the problem, often as its cause and always as its solution.

On the other hand, ignoring the problem requires a high degree of patience and mental toughness.  Some problems will loom over you for a long time, clouding your emotional state and filling you with doubt and worry until one day they finally disappear.  Ignoring a problem is passive, and requires denying responsibility for the problem and consequently its solution.


How you respond to a problem is ultimately a matter of discerning how much responsibility you actually have for a problem and its solution.  The more you control you have over a situation, the more aggressive you have to be in solving it; the less control you have, the more passive you have to be in solving it.  Ultimately, the key to wisdom in this matter is correctly evaluating your role in a situation.  If you give yourself too much credit, your aggressive response will be ineffective.  In like matter, if you give yourself too little credit, your passive response will be ineffective also.

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